Many of us tend to self-sabotage, and often, this is a pattern we have and repeat again and again. I know I have been there, and I can identify with # 1, #3 and #4 below. Nobody is perfect, and neither am I. But I keep on moving forward and I hope you will too. Have a look at the video on the subject here.
Maybe you are a victim of self-sabotage. How do you know, and what can you do about it? Below are some possible ‘problems’ and some solutions. Read on and see…
1. Focusing on what is not working or not right.
Problem: Finding that you think a lot and speak a lot about what is going wrong can make you feel dissatisfied and can quiet your sense of purpose and ambition. Notice how often you speak about things that aren’t working.
Action: Ask yourself a new question: “What’s going right?” or “What IS working?” Notice all the things, no matter how small, that are working well. Keep an evidence journal and write down everything that is working for you each day, I do mean everything. Change your way of thinking!
2. Feeling you have no value.
Problem: Do you forget all your accomplishments and lack pride in who you are and what you have accomplished? If you stew and obsess about the past or your lack of success or lack of goal achievement, then you’ll be stuck in noticing how much you lack as a person. If you often criticize yourself or can’t accept compliments, you aren’t allowing yourself to love yourself.
Action: You can choose to notice what you do that is good and that you can be proud of, no matter how small it may seem. Each day keep a log of what you are grateful for about YOU. When you hear your “inner coach” or your inner voice telling you what you haven’t done right or well, turn down the volume on it and turn on the volume to hear the voice that knows the TRUTH about who you are and how you add value to the world. Acknowledge yourself for at least 5 things each day that you did well. Each day, compliment yourself on something you did that you feel good about. Notice your small successes and let compliments others give you flow into your bones.
3. Comparison of self to others.
Problem: Do you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel bad when compared to them? A comparison doesn’t motivate us to do more or be better, instead, it makes us feel we’ll never be good enough.
Action: Write out the 5 qualities you like best about yourself. Then write out what you value most in your life. When you go to a place of comparison, notice how similar you are to the other person vs. what is different. Begin to create a list of adjectives that describe you – at least 25 positive words about your greatness. Whenever you notice yourself in a comparison mode, think of some of the adjectives that describe YOU. You are unique and amazing – perfect as you are!
4. Setting goals and then losing them.
Problem: Do you not believe that you deserve to accomplish goals and that you are entitled to what you want? What is the story underneath – maybe that you aren’t good enough to have it?
Action: List all the things you have accomplished that then faded away. Simply notice these things with love and pride and don’t focus on the fact they disappeared. How did they bring you satisfaction? How did they make you feel? What is the limiting belief that you have that tells you inside why you can’t have what you want? Be quiet, be still and listen to it. Write down how you felt when you had accomplished the goal. Write down how you feel now, without the goal. Then write a “bridge belief”: A very, very small belief that feels a little bit better than what you now feel. Each week, create a new bridge that you can really believe. By using these bridges as stepping-stones, you’ll shift your limiting beliefs slowly and be on the other side of the bridge and able to maintain it because you will have a new belief inside of you.
Which one of these can you identify with? Really take action and work on the ones that you identify with. As we all know – without taking action nothing will change.
Let’s keep on moving forward and let’s take action now. And here is my video on the subject.
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Be well,
Best wishes,
Jamila
Resources:
http://www.actioncoach.com/The-Top-7-Signs-of-Self-Sabotaging-Behaviors?pressid=272