From the time we are little children we are taught that it is our job to please others – beginning with our parents. And it is a very hard habit to break – particularly as we are taught that we are being ‘good’ and therefore ‘worthy of love’ if we do that which pleases another – and bad or selfish if we don’t. It is one gigantic, manipulative, and highly controlling power game that leaves many damaged and broken in its wake.
People’s sense of self-worth becomes totally dependent upon being validated by others through putting themselves second and jumping through whatever hoop another place in front of them.
The greatest gift we can give ourselves – and others – is to take back responsibility for ourselves and our own happiness – and give others back responsibility for theirs.
It is not our job to please anyone else – nor is it their job to please us. It is our job to choose that which serves our highest purpose, and then act from there, regardless of whether someone else agrees or approves – or even seeks to keep us locked into doing what they want.
When you do that which serves your highest purpose, that which is kind, loving and nurturing to your own being, then you do that which serves the highest purpose of all – for there is only one highest purpose. Those that are used to (or even addicted to) having your time, priorities and energy under their control will not like it when you take yourself back – and they will let you know in no uncertain terms that they don’t like it!!
They may even call you selfish and self-centered, or other hurtful words in order to emotionally manipulate you back into doing what they want and that which (as they see it) makes them happy. They will complain like a junkie who is no longer getting his or her fix. To continue to supply what they think they need by sacrificing yourself is a form of co-dependency. It is in fact only enabling them and helping keep them to stay stuck where they are.
We have no power or control over what anyone else feels or chooses. The only power we have is what we choose. So choose happiness and freedom and know that both are in your own hands and no one else’s. You do not have to be ‘good’ – and you do not need to please anyone else. You already are good and infinitely worthy of love. Love is unconditional. It doesn’t require you to ‘do’ or ‘be’ anything in order to be deserving of receiving it.
You are love, it is your very essence, it is not possible for you to be anything else. Embrace the love you are and release all else. True healing begins here. It is the first step in the journey back home to the truth of who we all are. Infinite love, creativity, joy, well-being, abundance, freedom, growth and grace.
With all the Love I Am ~ Kieron ~